I need to remember that it's Summer now, even if it's raining, it's June and the year is nearly half over. I should be working on my Summer List and trying harder with my New Years Goals.
"This year is for later evenings and louder music and drawing more. I am going to try harder to embrace change with open arms and panic a little bit less. I shall wear more paper crowns and style my hair more often. I want to go camping in the summer and I'm going to apply to university. I want to make my own clothes and knit my own jumpers. I want to be a better granddaughter and a better penpal. I want to spend less time online and more time living life. I am going to take more photos and continue my love affair with film. This year will be full of tea lights and wild flowers and home baking and country music. I am going to say yes more. I want to finish more projects than I abandon. I want to go to music festivals and stand in fields not wearing shoes. I want to spend wet afternoons making things with my friends. I'll scrapbook more and make mix CDs. I still want to learn to Charleston and go to the roller disco, so maybe I'll do that this year too. I'd like to eat a few less cakes, but more importantly, I want to smile when I see myself in the mirror. I want to have hair-dye adventures and tie-dye adventures and learn to crochet. I'd like to learn to drive and get a car with a bicycle rack. I want to grow vegetables and spend less pennies on frivolities. I want to sell things at car boot sales. I want to visit friends I haven't seen in far too long. I want to buy a record player and stay up drawing and listening to vinyl. I'd like to adopt a pet rabbit and keep it in my bedroom. I'd like to got to Scotland and Cornwall and the Lake District but one out of the three would be enough for me. I want to love more and cry less. I am going to be proactive and productive. I'm going to sleep less and do more. 2012 is my year."
I have applied to university and I've accepted a place. I wore a paper crown just last week for the jubilee. I have not yet sewn my own clothes, but I have knitted my very first jumper. I have sent some letters this year, even if I am still a pretty shoddy penpal. I am spending a small fortune on film and developing but am loving even minute. I have made pretty tea light lanterns. I can't crochet or drive and my cake-consumption (and probably my dress size) has doubled. I haven't yet visited any of the above places this year, but I have got tickets for some music festivals next month. I don't own a rabbit, I still panic and cry a lot, and sleep far too much, but you have to start somewhere, and some things are harder to change. 2012 has been a good year so far, but it has been a difficult one too.