Thursday, 21 March 2013

Oh Art School.

I'm struggling to find the point in lots of things at the moment. Art school is one such thing.

Art school is hard work. Don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of hard work. In fact, I like hard work. I like spending 12hrs at university and staying in the library until it closes. I love sketchbooks and filling them with ideas and prototypes and practise after practise of new techniques. Fat sketchbooks are the key to a happy heart in my opinion. Hard work is always worth it when it pays off. I happily work 12hr shifts in my part time job, I work night shifts and anti social hours because I like my job, and the work I do there is appreciated. At work, hard work pays off. At art school, that is not the case. I am sick of working myself to death, staying up to stupid hours of the morning, only to stand up in front of my class in a critique, to have my hard work torn apart by tutors.

Art is the only thing I've ever really been any good at and I love it. I love drawing, I love sewing, I love making things. I love photography. I love craft. My degree is slowly poisoning my passion for what I do. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and it's exhausting. I'm sick of feeling run down and not having the time or energy to cook proper meals.

I can't decide whether it's worth it. I don't know if I can handle two more years of feeling out of place, and then what? More of the same? Standing up in front of potential clients, being treated in exactly the same way. The art world is hard. I don't want to live a life that is a constant struggle to prove I'm worth something.

I have to do some thinking, and I have to start my Final Major Project - a prospect I was more excited about before I received this term's marks. It's hard work. And not the kind of hard work I like.

Kim, a fellow art student and a dear friend of mine, touched upon the subject in a vlog post recently. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

A ♥


  1. Is it possible to spend too much time on art? Maybe the key is to get more sleep, do something to relieve some stress.. less stress = better creativity?

    I hope things get better for you! It's really tough to spend so much time on something and not be rewarded for the effort.

  2. Hi Amy, I completely feel for you, and kinda know where you're coming from.

    I did a BA creative Arts (art and creative writing)and got a 2:2, which is pretty useless really, but as I've always been rubbish at drawing and painting in the classic sense, I think I was just relieved not to have failed. You'll definitely do better than I did because you are doing your best, I know I could've tried harder. You're best is all you can do, it's easy to make yourself ill if you stress yourself out too much! The important thing is that you know you're trying your best and being true to yourself and your art, even if that isn't to the tutor's taste. Remember that this is just a step on your journey and the important thing is to work out what you actually want to do with the rest of your life, less about how good a degree you get (well unless you want to teach or something maybe). I graduated in 2004 and it has taken me nearly 10 years to figure out that I want to make and sell my own jewellery so now I'm working towards that, but that wasn't something I studied, it was just a hobby that took on a life of it's own. Famous artists, as far as I'm aware, don't get asked about their qualifications by the person buying the painting. You know what you're good at, you know your strengths are, do what makes you happy.

    Good luck and remember you ARE amazing.
    Luv Helen :)

  3. Hi! I read your blog but I don't think I've commented before. I just wanted to say I think you start to feel better soon!

    I did a 3 year year Graphic Design degree (And I'm now an Illustrator.. NOT a graphic designer..) & I can't tell you how many times I wanted to give it up. I think the only reason I didn't was what other chance do you get to focus 100% on your own creativity for 3 years solidly? But there are so many successful artists out there who don't have a creative degree (& nobody, apart from my mum, has ever asked to see my degree certificate!)

    If you feel like the degree is changing who you are (in a negative way) as an artist maybe it's time for some soul searching?

    Sorry that got a bit deep there!


  4. ok i am now going into my third year of studying fine art and i can say that first year was the absolute worst, the tutors are harsh but it gets better, they try to scare you in first year so you'll push yourself and keep getting better & better! don't quit just yet!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...